


To deserve the love of another

by ElinOlivia



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 23:30:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6304504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElinOlivia/pseuds/ElinOlivia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adrien realises that he loves Marinette. It comes as a huge surprise to him, and it also becomes his undoing.<br/>No reveal, only heartbreak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To deserve the love of another

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first-ever ao3-fic. Also my first Miraculous Ladybug-fic. Tell me what you think! Also, english is not my first language so please do correct me if you find any spelling or grammar errors. And I tagged Adrinette because - maybe?  
> //unedited

As soon as the Chat Noir-transformation let go of him, Adrien sailed through the door and into the classroom. Everyone whipped their heads around and proceeded to stare at him as he walked to his desk and sat down besides Nino.  
"Adrien", miss Bustier said. "Why are you late?" Adrien blinked, his mind blank as an untouched paper for a moment. Then he plastered an embarrassed smile onto his face and ran his hand through his hair.  
"I... I got caught up in traffic. That akuma attack really messed things up." Miss Bustier narrowed her eyes at him, but turned to the class again after quickly scrutinising him. Adrien almost let out a relieved sigh, but caught himself. He opened his physics books and leaned down to start reading when Nino tapped his shoulder. Adrien turned to him, and faced Nino's wide, worried eyes.  
"You haven't seen Marinette?" he asked quietly. "Alya's about to go crazy. She's really worried. After this akuma attack and all..." Adrien glanced at Alya's desk. She was staring down at her crotch with a concentrated wrinkle between her eyes.  
"I think she has contacted her entire network of acquaintances. I mean, it been over two hours and Marinette still hasn't shown up. I get why she's upset." Two hours. The words hit Adrien right where it hurt the most. A familiar feeling seized his heart, like ice cold fingers were gripping it tightly. The feeling itself was something Adrien was very used to, but it had never been attached to Marinette. Adrien couldn't recall ever caring so much for the girl, even after two years as classmates. It wasn't that Marinette was mean or in any way undeserving but... She'd never seemed like herself around Adrien, and while it bothered him to no end, it also made sure that he hadn't reached out to her. Or tried to get to know her better. That stuttering persona that suddenly covered her other features whenever she was in his presence was simply not very inviting. Sure, he had seen her brave, selfless and caring sides too, but she had never seemed to bother showing them directly to him. So when had his lukewarm feelings towards her turned this... deep? Adrien shook his head and tried to concentrate on his task, but the icy fingers wouldn't let go of their grip on his heart.

He was lost in his own tangled thought when Nino called him back to the classroom.  
"Dude", he said, and Adrien's attention snapped back. He turned to his friend, a fake smile already tugging at his lips. Nino shook his head.  
"No. I see you smile like that a dozen times a day. You don't get to do that to me." Adrien's face fell.  
"I'm sorry", he sighed. "It's a habit." Nino put an arm around his shoulder.  
"Hey", he said gently. "It's okay. I get that you're worried about Marinette. We all are." Yes, Adrien was definitely worried about Marinette. So very worried. He wanted to slip out of the classroom, transform into Chat Noir and search every inch of Paris until he found her. It was so utterly strange, how he wanted to risk himself for a girl he barely knew. It was eerily similar to how he felt about Ladybug. Nino nudged Adrien.  
"You look like you've seen a ghost. It's okay to worry, especially about the people you love."

* * *

 

 _Love_. The word had clung to Adrien's mind for hours now. Even after Marinette had rushed into class, an excuse already on her lips. Even after the dizzying feeling of relief had faded from Adrien's body and left him light-headed and empty. Even after school had ended. _Love_. Nino thought Adrien loved Marinette. But it couldn't be true. He loved Ladybug. Every part of him loved Ladybug, always. Even when he wasn't the superhero who never stopped courting her. Even now, when he couldn't stop thinking about Marinette's aquamarine eyes, he felt his attraction to Ladybug. But maybe it was just that. Maybe it was just attraction, plain and simple. Adrien let out a breath and sat down on his bed. He ran a hand through his flawlessly arranged hair and had the sudden urge to mess it all up. Why did his feelings have to be so _difficult_? Why couldn't the lingering image of his mother and the crushing pain accompanying it just leave him alone? Why couldn't he just accept that his father was never going to care about him? _Why_ couldn't he just fall in love with girls who could love him back? He had fallen in love with Ladybug, perfection portrayed, but she always swatted his compliments away with a careless flick of her hand. She never understood how much she meant to him, and how much her repeated hard words wounded him. Then he had apparently fallen for Marinette. Marinette, who had never even _liked_ him enough to defend him like she did for everyone else. Marinette, who always found reasons to leave him whenever they found themselves engaged in a conversation. If her constantly red face was any kind of clue, she found his company very uncomfortable.

Adrien's knees gave out, and he sank down to the floor. A tearing, heartbroken sob escaped his tightly sealed lips. His face distorted into something unrecognisable, something vastly different from his usual composed self. It was his first breakdown in five years. His heart was raw, and trampled, and his skin felt exposed and so cold. Tears quickly pooled in his eyes as the truth dawned on him with such clarity that he couldn't deny it anymore. No one could love him because _he didn't deserve to be loved_. Of course he didn't. Of course.


End file.
